Did she really just say that?

I have the pleasure of being in my cousin ephanie's wedding in December. Today was the day that I called in my measurements. It ranks right up there with wearing a bathing suit in public, annual pap smears and the dentist. Not a lot of fun. I shared my measures and the sweet lady named Tina said, "That's it? Well those aren't THAT bad!" Wwhhhhaaaaatttttt! I said no judgement, your opinion = your judgement. No thank you, but thanks for the back door compliment, I guess.

Picking up where I left off...

Last year around this time was kind of a low point for Brent and I. We had just failed IVF and the fertility doctors told me that I had to take the summer off. Like it was something I could turn on/turn off!
Anyways, i decided to try acupuncture not only for fertility but for overall health. Well, we know that it worked! ;) I had also decided to really embrace and push my health and physical abilities. That came to a screeching halt whenI found out I was pregnant. I was afraid to cough! I had a perfect pregnancy, very boring, very blessed. Now, he's here and I find myself feeling complete, satisfied, very "I told you I could have a baby" and lest I admit frumpy. The pregnancy never kicks my butt it's the post partum and nursing. I can't control myself with eating. In my defense i dont ever feel full. Im always hungry. I thought it would be a good idea to track my calories and be present while consuming them! Today I start anew. Today I am being mindful of what goes in and am going to try to move a little more. It's a fine balance with nursing because you have to keep up your calories! But I figure if I could start to see the scale move about a pound a week, that that would be more than reasonable. Nine months on, nine months off.
So I went to the Mecca, Wegmans, and spent 100 bucks on god knows what. I bought kale for crying out loud. I wanted to try it, and let's say it's gross roasted. I bought coconut water. That wasn't too bad, but I think it would have been better spent in a piña colada, just saying. So it's lunch and according to my app for counting calories I'm at 1453. That leaves me with just 350 or so for dinner and another snack. I'm thinking 1800 calories shouldn't impact my milk supply. Here goes nothing!

Tings I forgot but am so happy to remember

Alex was a true blessing, somas Allison! My children will never say they weren't wanted! It's been four years since I had a baby so herenare some things I forgot....
*the snap of a nursing bra, the snap of my breast friend pillow
*the limp body once Alex is finally asleep
*toothless grins
*the way a baby's head smells
*the baby burrito
*bucket car seats, not a fan, why do they cause you to lean away, the callouses from carryig them
*the click and lame songs of our swing
*going to the bathroom while holding a baby
*baby bathtubs
*gravity defying poops
*breastfed poops in general
*the power of white noise
*never standing still while holding Alex
*tracking input/output
*breast pump and drinking water like my life depends on it
*Baby Einstein, those videos are like baby drugs
*onesies
*mastering a diaper change, onesie snaps and zippers, nursing and swaddling all in the dark
*little baby feet and noses--feeling like I could really eat him!
*the sense of accomplishment after a good pumping session
*the pack n play
*the amount of crap you need when traveling, and how it doesn't matter if it's one night versus a week, it's still a lot of crap!
*tremendous pride when you can successfully transfer from the car seat to bed without the baby waking up
And so much more!

Dear Lord

Thank you for blessing me with a baby that sleeps. Anytime. Anyplace. I think he does what babies are supposed to do. His big sister? Not so much.....at least not when she was a baby.....

Back to the Beach

We are back at the beach! Brent has meetings in Va Beach and we are all with him. Loving that! As I type this and other posts, I'm doing it with a baby on my lap. no complaints. We did get some swimming in this morning. At least Brent and Allison did. Alex and I just nursed and slept poolside.

It is raining here, so we are hanging out....

Allison's First and likely LAST dance recital

This past Father's Day weekend, we embarked on what I would consider a rite of passage of parents with daughters. The infamous dance recital! It was very pink, purple and adorable. Sad thing is I think it was our last. I was a "career" dancer if you will, forcing my parents to endure years of dance recitals. Allison is a more one and done. She didn't enjoy it, she really didn't. It was hard to have her not enjoy dance as much as I did, but I recognize it and I am just trying to encourage her with her other pursuits. At this point, he other pursuit is gymnastics. She will be taking a Level I class this summer with 5-8 year olds. Yikes! So I digress, here are some pictures from her recital. I have a video too that I'll end up putting on my me site. She did an amazing job and honestly was the only dancer to actually (imagine that) dance. It was precious and if it's the last, at least it happened!

Strawberry Fields Forever and ever

We went strawberry picking again! Yeah! We journeyed back to Hollins Farm in Delaplane. I love that place. This year we had two more additions, Alex of course and then Connie went with us. She has been staying with us as she is in between houses right now. We ended up picking 2 gallons of strawberries. Then we came home and I made a strawberry crumble, strawberry jam, chocolate covered strawberries, froze some strawberries, stawberrry smoothies and finally strawberry shortcakes. After awhile it felt like Bubba Gump and the shrimp......

Landscaping Pictures

Here's what my super hubby got done in the front yard.





He took out three large holly bushes and then planted some laroppi and planted three more more manageable holly plants. The bare space is where my flowers will go and the last picture is the corner where we planted some ground cover and a Japanese maple tree. Which we got a super deal on at Betty's.
Since I took these pictures, Allison and Connie planted vinca in the flower garden and some mulch in the beds. Azaleas have been transplanted to the back and we moved another holly to the side of the garage. I'm tired just looking at it all........

Grr, ugh, and sigh

This morning was our first trial run at getting up, showered, dressed and fed by 7:45. I am happy to report that it was successful and we all survived! Then I decided after dropping Allison off at her preschool, that I would stop in the baby room to "let" the teachers hold and swoon over Alex. Then the grr, ugh, and sighs started and some tears. I hate this. I don't like change and I want to be with my baby!! I hate pumping (the things I have done for breast milk are embarrassing!) and I am not sure how I feel about working. My boss has this whole "a patients first" mentality. Which given the state of healthcare and the endless medical mistakes isn't a bad thing, but I don't make mistakes, I'm careful and honest with my patients I don't want my patients to interfere with my family time!, ugh! Then there's my husband who's has almost drawn his sword with is proclamations of, "you will go back to work". Sigh. Then there's me. The therapist who's really loves her job and her patients. It's just that I know how the story goes....they run late, they have insurance issues, the paperwork, the meetings....it's just not all that exciting to me anymore. I hope this feeling goes away and once I am back I'm not sucked into the crap. I feel like I'm doing the right thing and honestly my schedule is not that awful. I'll see patients Tues, Thurs and Friday and in the office at 8:30, done by 3. Grr, ugh. At a least that's when the patient leaves, if they are on time and don't need extra paperwork! Which trust me they usually do! Sigh. I hate the thought of someone holding Alex and seeing him smile and coo and laugh. I really do. I just don't know how to balance it all right now. Daycare is expensive and I want to make it worthwhile and Allison really enjoys her preschool and the program. It's just my baby boy that I will miss terribly. And to make matters worse, this isn't a financial issue. I don't have to work. It's a lifestyle thing. We (more he) wants to be able to anywhere we want, buy what ever we want, etc. Trust me I enjoy that too, I just don't know what I would prefer right now that luxury or the time with Alex. Sometimes 3 months isn't enough. I'm going back with an open mind and I hope the empty pit in my stomach and heart gets better. Grr, ugh and sigh.

Another 3 months? Screw it and then plant it!

Yikes. I'm a bad, really bad blogger! I thought it was before I was pregnant and had such bad carpal tunnel but know I think I'm just a bad blogger. I stink at updating baby books too, so this is really the only shot my kids are going to get. I should buck up!
I've been thinking of ways to update and there is no good way and frankly those who read this blog (insert crickets chirping here) are close family and friends and they know that Alex was born and that he's perfect and we won the baby lottery, and Allison is your typical perfect 4 year old girl who is having a period of HIGH drama but otherwise a well adjusted and well mannered little girl. So, screw it. I'm not updating we are going to go forward. I may revisit SOME things, but with how my life is going and how busy I am I don't think so.....

I will now provide an update. Not on the above mentioned children but on my husband. I love Brent :)((That's not the update!))

He has spent the ENTIRE weekend working on our landscaping. Some background: we have an ongoing list of things that we want to change or projects that we want to start in and around the house. There are definite He/She items on this list. The yard falls under HE. Last weekend, we had the pleasure of inviting Russ and Faye Davis over for dinner. Russ is the mastermind behind Montclair Landscaping, a company that Brent worked for pre-union days. Getting his hands dirty is something that Brent truly enjoys and is amazing at. The patience he demonstrates is limitless, I don't see it with our kiddos, maybe that because the plants don't talk back??
After dinner last week, Russ walked outside with Brent and passed along some ideas/tips for our landscaping. That was all the motivation my little green thumbed husband needed. We have spent the weekend (We meaning HE, I've stayed in the cool A/C!) digging, moving, analyzing, shopping, inspecting, shoveling, raking, composting, fertilizing and every other -ing verb that relates to the yard. He is doing an incredible job. He is tired, sore (not as young as he used to be!) and covered in blisters, but honestly he seems right at home in the yard with all of the gnats. Who by the way are another reason that I stay inside, they are awful! I just wanted him to know that I am proud of him for doing a great job and even more excited that we get to cross off something from our list. That is the best feeling! I will post pics once it's done.

3 Months??

Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged! We have had Thanksgiving, Allison's 4th, Christmas and our annual trip to Florida. Perhaps to simplify, I may just post pictures. Is that lame? Probably. But it gets me caught up in a jiffy! We'll see. If I get another snow day (had my first one in 9 years of working this past week) I will blog. On second thought, I'll hit all the highlights!